Days

• Best
• I visted my friends at my old school for their field day. (I snuck in)
• Everyone was pretty happy to see me. They hugged me.
• I didn't get told to get off, actually I think most teachers didn't even realize.
• The first teacher to notice was my advisor for Newspaper Club. It was nice seeing her. She said, "What are you doing here?!!" and "You're so illegal!!" (because I wasn't supposed to be there.) We laughed, it was fun.
• My ELA teacher, my favorite teacher, she ran up to me and hugged me. She said she missed me. It was suprising, she's not a very outward person. Like, I wouldn't take her for an outwardly affectionate person. But she practically dashed over all happy and hugged me. It was pretty cute. I love her. We (my friends and I) admitted I was snuck in, and she said, "Well if anyone has a problem with it, they can talk to me!!". It made me ahppy. She also said she's admitted in class that she misses me. It makes me a little sad. I thought maybe it was because I answered questions, but maybe it's just me. I don't know. She said for me to go to college nearby.
• My art teacher was surprised and she hugged me too. She was quite happy to see me too.
• A lot of people hugged me and said hi to me. They missed me apparently. My ELA teacher said I was sorta a celebrity. I didn't realize how many people I talked to until then.
• My old track coach saw me, took a bit to realize, and then hugged me saying "what are you doing here?!" My gym teacher high fived me, and the two of them joked about me joining cross country there.
• I told my friend that I talked to a lot of people and that's probably why they missed me. But she said, "well you're just that amazing." At this point, I still felt worthless and like dying, but it made me happy. I hope that's true. I don't know.
• Worse
• I hate myself. Genuinely.
• Maybe I'm worth something to other people. But I hate myself. I've always been selfish, and I want to die.
• People will miss me. But I know someone won't.
• I'm a terrible person and girlfriend.
• I'm a failure.
• I feel like making a plan.

Maybe another day